|…work in process…|
For me this is a pivotal time of year. Holistically. Meaning: In a number ways that impact a number of aspects of me. But for now, for this post, I focus on one.
Historically, the month of October has been a time of linear reflection for me. A time to reflect back over the past year, consider what sustained me and what depleted me, what challenged me and what my annual evolution "looked like." This year I was not called to that particular mirror. Oh, I reflected back over the past year, but not with the fierce intensity of years past. This year the veracity of the process shifted—with me. Oh, I found myself paging through journals in preparation for workshops and in seeking inspiration for workshop development, but not to reflect back. Rather, to reflect into The Now and into the future.
As my awareness on this shift came into focus I realized that this past year had been filled with a kind of high intensity verve that had linked me—quite consciously—throughout most of the ride. I had chewed, savored, swallowed, digested and assimilated all the vital and meaningful experiences throughout the year. All the nourishment, the savory and the bitter, were already integral. No need to reflect back.
I welcomed that change. I greet it today with open arms and heart. As I step into my 55th year, I feel (for lack of better phrasing) more whole and holy than I have felt in a very long time. Possibly ever. In this life, anyway.
But, hey, that could change too. And I'm cool with that. Because I know what I've known all along, consciously and not, that it is not the reflection that I seek that bolsters my evolution … it is the reflection I see. Now. Always Now.
So you, kind reader, pause now. Conjure your mirror, your reflection. What do you see? Now.